It’s no secret that siblings fight. My brother, sister, and I have had our ups and downs. Despite our differences, we get along ok. Now that I’m a mom, I want to make sure that my kids remain close too.
When I first told Princess that she’d be getting a new brother or sister, she didn’t take the news very well. Needless to say, I was bit apprehensive about how they’d get along.
That feeling went away when they met each other for the first time. Princess and Baby O immediately hit it off! My daughter has always been extremely nurturing and kind hearted, so it didn’t surprise me that the initial encounter went so well. But, I also made it my priority to prepare her for our growing family. That said, here are five easy steps to create an unbreakable sibling bond.
1. Start at the beginning
My husband and I kept an open dialogue with our daughter, letting her know we were expecting. We also spoke with her about what it means to be a big sister, and how small and delicate the new baby would be.
2. Ask questions
Talking to your children is just as important as listening to them. I wanted my daughter to know how much we valued her feelings.
3. Don’t compare
I’m sure that most parents compare their kids to each other. I admit my husband and I have done that when no one is around, but never in front of the kids. No one wants to be told that one child is better than another. I’m all about a healthy competition, but would hate to cause a sibling rivalry.
4. Show affection
Saying “I love you” is something we do all the time. Princess also hugs and kisses her brother every day.
5. Get the older sibling involved
Princess may be a bit too young for diaper duty. But, she loves helping out. It makes her feel like she’s contributing in some way.
6. Spend time together and spend time apart
When I found out I was pregnant, it was important for us to chill as a family. But, it was just as important to spend time apart. Mommy and me activities were always on the agenda.
As much as I like to spend time with my oldest, it’s just as important to bond with my new baby. It’s been seven months since we’ve welcomed our new addition. Seeing how close my kids have become warms my heart. Arguments are inevitable, but I pray they never break their sibling bond.
I think that’s all well and good in the early days, but now my daughter is about to turn 4 and my son is 18 months it’s a very different story. He’s only enough to take her toys, she’s old enough to put thing up out of his reach making sure he can still see them. We did all those things listed, but you can’t expect children to cope, and you can’t reason with them. It’s healthy for kids to learn that things don’t always go their way.
Your kids are beautiful. I think these tips are excellent for the beginning and early stages. I do think however as the younger child gets older and starts getting into the older child’s things, becomes mobile so toys with small parts have to be put away, etc. that things become progressively difficult. I think that’s the point that there’s “real” disruption to the relationship as the older children know it. But I agree – open dialogue and making the older children a part of it is key.