Tag: TSA
A Grope A Day Keeps Osama Away
Sen. Rand Paul (R–KY) made the news Monday when he declined to get up close and personal with TSA guards at the Nashville, TN airport. Paul entered the security line; dumped his belt, glasses, wallet, shoes, cell phone and pocket change in the attractive plastic bin and walked passively through the full–body scanner.
First the TSA now Wal-Mart: America loses more liberty in the battle for freedom
In a recent press release from the Department of Homeland Security former Arizona governor Janet Napolitano the following campaign, “If You See Something, Say Something” was debuted. Bringing overtones of early communist Russia and the “Watch your neighbor” with it this new program promises to satisfy even the staunchest anti freedom advocates ideals.
Tweets Regarding Junk Touching
Those with courage enough to stand up to these most outrageous of bodily violations should be heralded. However, the hand of fellowship should not be removed from those that decide to pursue another course of action when presented with these unacceptable choices.
Bend Over & Experience 21st Century Air Travel
Visiting grandma’s house is going to be a lot different this holiday season. Instead of “Grandma, what big teeth you have!” It’s going to be “G–man what cold hands you have!” as thousands of unsuspecting travelers undergo their first enhanced airport “pat–down” at the hands of TSA.
Sex Toys for the TSA: Do your part!
I propose that we institute a Dildos for Dummies program. Sort of like Toys for Tots but this one specifically targets all the “grown-ups” and their professional cadre at the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). Hundreds, if not thousands, of Americans can take a part of whatever is left over after paying taxes and purchase these items and send them as gifts to the address below …
Up Close and Personal
The “puffer’s” heyday was back when the Underwear Police claimed that removing your shoes at the airport was “optional.” I used to take them at their word. And a form of peaceful, non–violent protest at government idiocy — the security “experts” didn’t start requiring this until months after the shoe bomber failed to meet his virgins.
Journalists’ New Math & Lap Dancing
It’s pretty sobering to realize the profession the country depends upon for news, analysis and the latest on Michelle’s upper arms simply can’t count. A decade is ten years, but for some reason journalism is hell bent closing this one out a year early.
TSA To Rummage Through Emotional Baggage As Well
On an episode of South Park taking aim at the airline industry, Mr. Garrison (still a man at that point) invented a mode of transportation where riders had to have a metal prod inserted into their backsides in order to avoid falling off the vehicle. The response of those enduring such discomfort and humiliation was that it was still less than what passengers had to endure at the airport. While the bit might have been a bit over the top in terms of propriety, it was pretty much on target in terms of how most Americans feel regarding the bureaucratic procedures implemented in the name of “transportation security” since September 11th.
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