Hollywood “Road Rage” Killing: Music Must Yield to Rap

Imagine you’re a talentless young thug, er, sorry, I mean a rapper. Your first order of business is to develop a record. No, not a musical record; they don’t make them anymore. A criminal record! A criminal record is the first step towards securing—or should I say, seizing?—a recording contract.

And so it was that a little after midnight, last Monday morning, “Swedish” aspiring thug, er, rapper, David Moses Jassy, 34 alias Dave Monopoly, was tooling around in a rented SUV in Hollywood, in search of that elusive contract.

He barged into a pedestrian crossing, hoping someone would cross in front of him either with that pinched look, while staring straight ahead, of someone angry for being harassed, but at the same time too frightened to do anything about it, or that a pedestrian would complain or give him a dirty look, thus giving him a pretext to beat the hell out of him. The second option beats the hell out of the first, but it’s a win-win, either way.

Like manna from hell, John T. Osnes appeared at the crosswalk. Osnes, a 55-year-old, Minnesota-born jazz pianist, was a dinosaur. For him, “records” were plastic objects which, when played on turntables (ask your grandparents, kids), emitted beautiful sounds. Osnes, though by all accounts a pleasant fellow on a personal level, did not own a vehicle, had a quaint attachment to things called “laws” (again, consult your grandparents) — I told you he was a Midwesterner — and could be particularly cantankerous, where the traffic laws concerning the rights of pedestrians were concerned.

As he walked by the encroaching vehicle, Osnes slapped it, to let the driver know he was out of line, but the driver refused to recognize any lines, at least where his own conduct was concerned. According to witnesses, Jassy/Monopoly jumped out of the SUV, slugged the older man, knocking his glasses off, and kicked him in the head, when Osnes bent over to pick them up. Jassy then jumped back in the rented SUV, and as Osnes sought to escape his pursuer, deliberately ran him down, killing him, before fleeing.

The L.A. Times’ Harriet Ryan writes, “Bystanders, including an off-duty Anaheim police officer, witnessed the assault and tried unsuccessfully to detain Jassy, according to authorities.”

They couldn’t have tried very hard.

At least, one person at the scene made himself useful, and took down the SUV’s license plate, and police were able to trace it. Jassy was arrested, and is presently being held on $1 million bail.

Jassy has been charged with assault and battery, and leaving the scene of an accident. Those are “holding charges,” in order to get the thug, er, artist, under lock and key, and give the LAPD time to put together a case for either murder 2 or felony murder, depending on whether the A&B charge is a misdemeanor or a felony. Felony murder is, in theory, death penalty-eligible, but as a member of the rap/hip-hop “community,” there is little danger of Jassy paying properly for his “alleged” act.

The news reports have all called this a “road-rage incident,” which to my ears suggests that someone had done something to set off Jassy. But if anyone had a right to be enraged, it was Osnes. (I’m obviously a dinosaur, as well.)

Acting like an experienced defendant, er, rapper, Jassy is at present being defended on the American taxpayer’s dime, and though he had no problem responding to the American judge at his first court hearing, has demanded a Swedish interpreter.

Jassy’s cached, disabled MySpace page has the title, Dave Monopoly – The Gambia-Sweden-L.A, California Hip Hop / Rap / R&B.” He calls himself “CEO of Jassy World Entertainment,” and says he’s Gambian-Estonian it’s not clear how long he’d been in Sweden.

Since Gambia’s official language is English, and Jassy appears to do his preening and “songwriting” exclusively in English, I guess he’ll next demand an English interpreter, to translate back from the Swedish.

The Web memorial that Osne’s friends have posted includes a recording of him playing Gershwin. By contrast, Jassy’s MySpace page presents what some might charitably call “urban sounds.”

But why be charitable?

In theory, it should be possible for music and rap to co-exist in different parts of the same world. But this doesn’t work in practice, because the David Moses Jassys of the world refuse to tolerate music, any more than they tolerate pedestrians or the law.

Meanwhile, in his jail cell, David Moses Jassy is likely planning out his first solo rap CD. Let us hope it can realistically be called, Live from Death Row.
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